There are nights like this that i wish i could run away and be free from you. I am bound by the love i have for my daughter and i don’t want her to grow up broken. I am broken by the simple fact that you cannot leave it alone. Do I have to say how much it hurts me each time? Must I cry my eyes out every time for you to understand? Why must i live through the pain you put me through? I am done…you will be ignored and don’t ask me what’s wrong. You are a hypocrite.
Life as i know it is not where i want it to be, but i can’t say that I’m that unhappy either. I have found solace in my loneliness but i can only feel left alone for so long. People may struggle to understand my loneliness, but missing my friends and family have really pushed me to the edge of my boundary. I have yet to receive a phone call or text from the people who i thought were the closest friends to me that i thought i ‘meant the world to’. I’ve given them every opportunity to show me some form of appreciation for my friendship to them in forms of favors, gifts, advice, outings, keeping secrets, listening about anything and everything.it kills me to realize that i meant nothing to these people or that i was part of their past and nothing more…but i guess moving to a bigger city and state has that effect to those i left behind…i only wish that i could express how much i miss them in words but that is just simply not enough. My heart breaks as i lay here wondering if i did anything to cause such a non response…guess I’ll never know….